Ari H.
a space for the "too much" and "not enough"; our stories matter
Hospitality
Hospitality
THE INVITATION
All good parties start with an invitation. Close your eyes and picture the prettiest invitation you have received. How does it feel? How does it make you feel? What are the details? Are you planning your outfit in your head or rearranging schedules to be there?
When we receive an invitation, you typically immediately know the why- a wedding, birthday or graduation invite shout look at me. We then learn the who, what , where and when.
Today, as many invitations do, we will begin with the WHY.
WHY.
Matthew 20:26-28
Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
What is the instruction here? What is the WHY?
Simply, the instruction is to serve. Why? Because He first served us.
The back story of these verses is 2 of Jesus disciples, James & John, asked to sit on either side of him, to be in the prominent places of honor. (Mathew, their MOM asks for this honor for her sons and in Mark 10 they ask) Simply, Jesus tells them first- You don’t know what your asking for and then teaches them the true places of honor are for those who serve.
Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
We serve others, His people, in order to serve Him.
To grow in peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, self-control is to be more Christ-like. To grow in the abundance of Christ is to be filled with these gifts in order to pour them out to others TO SERVE; To serve Christ by loving and leading people to Him.
Now that we understand the WHY….let’s get back to that invitation and start from the top.
Who? One another.
1 Peter—Peter, a missionary of Jesus is speaking to the Jewish Christians who were scattered and facing persecution from the Romans, the Jews and their own families. Life was not easy at that time.
“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.”
1 Peter 4:8-11 NLT
Serving is a sacrifice. It cost time, energy and resources. It requires you to put others before yourself.
WHO? Other Christians. Is that all?
Luke 6:35 NIV tells us…
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
WHO? Everyone else. I let you pray and wrestle with God what that looks like or you… as am I.
Now we know WHY and WHOM …lets get to the details the WHAT? WHERE? WHEN?
WHAT? Now we talk about what hospitality actually looks like. Close your eyes again… now I want you to picture the party going on with that invite.
Does it look like this? Martha Stewart Table all set with silver and linen and fresh flowers from the garden and cost a gazillion dollars?
I suggest that this is LOVELY and Yes, I would welcome that invite but THIS IS NOT the definition of hospitality.
I’m a word girl so let’s look up the definition…
hos·pi·tal·i·ty
noun: hospitality
- the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.
The great news is this doesn’t say scrub down every inch of your home, freak out at your family and plan a 5 course meal while accomplishing all your normal responsibilities of life.
Actually it is not super specific and at the same time it is.
Be friendly, be welcoming and entertain.
This sounds a whole lot like LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS to me.
WHAT does that look like? It can be the big party but I propose it can be more meaningful in the everyday touches.
My favorite acts of hospitality/loving your neighbors—Start with small acts of kindness and move into other spaces….
Your list will look different but these are to get you thinking.
Share a baked good with a neighbor or if you buy the 2 pack of bagels from Costco, share one of those. I once had a lady behind me in Costco eyeballing my 12 case of mangos and commenting how good they looked. I immediately offered up 2 and she was delighted. Small acts of hospitality go a long way.
Going on a MILK run. Who else is always needing milk like you?
Invite a friend over or out for coffee/tea. Take the time to check in on friends or someone new you met. Slow down and listen. Do not monopolize the conversation or have an agenda. Just be present.
Flowers…I love flowers. I am not good at growing them but I have my friend Trader Joe. Buy one, cut one. Share a flower, even a single stem in a bud vase for next to the sink or in the powder room.
Meals…Every Sunday my Gram set the table with linens and china and cooked Sunday dinner; fresh rolls, a roast, veggie, potato and gravy. She would either preplan a guest from church or pick one up after the service. It was delightful and a treasured memory for me.
If you love to cook and set a table, do that. If you don’t, don’t. So many places to order in from. You can order a full meal at Whole Foods and put it nice dishes or you can order a pizza. I am all for good food and pretty tables but it is not realistic for my schedule in certain seasons.
A Cookie and cold drink: You could not walk into Grandma H’s home with an offer of a treat, usually a cookie or ice cream bar, and a cold drink. She lived on camp grounds and her door was always open and everyone called her Grandma. This simple offer and welcoming home was a small respite for homesick kids, tired volunteers, curious newcomers as well as her MANY grandkids and great grandkids.
Even the nurses that came in weekly to help her in her old age commented how this was there favorite stop and it felt like a visit with a friend.
THIS IS HOSPITALITY.
With the many many people that came through her door, I think about Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
Hebrews 13:2 NIV
“Busy seasons” or “not a good time” are not valid reasons to skip showing hospitality. Do Something! Even the smallest act can have impact and who knows, you may be entertaining angels!
Gather your guests and love them. Share, welcome them, slow down and listen. Hopefully you get some laughs in there.
BACK TO THE INVITATION;
WHERE?
Open up your home or yard.
With all the beautiful homes and styling and Martha Stewarts out there, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Don’t. Yes, easier said than done so this will take practice. If I waited for my home to be clean or perfect before I invited my neighbor and dear friend over for the first time, it would be 18 years later and we would still be waiting.
Instead, I set the expectation. I tell people my door is always open and I will have something to feed you, my house may or may not be clean. That being said, to this day, I still struggle with unexpected guest and my house looking messy. Yesterday, I had dishes all over the counter and unexpected visitors arrived. UGH but I threw on a sweater and smiled and welcomed them in. This is hospitality. It was lovely to meet them. People remember how you make them feel.
WHERE Else? Serve at church…school, community
In an official or unofficial way. Yes, there are always volunteer spots that need to be filled. Go find them, fill them.
Finally, we come to the end of our invitation…
What does is look like to serve others in church or anyplace every day?
Lets go back to our definition of hospitality:
- the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.
WHEN? THIS CAN BE ANYWHERE AT ALL TIMES.
Our challenge is to be leaders in hospitality, everywhere, all the time.
Yes there are days we we just CAN’T with life and my prayer is because you have cultivated hospitality around you, you will have someone to drop off soup when your sick or dinner because they know your week is hectic.
My prayer for each of you is that you grow in hospitality, not with pressure but with purpose. May we all love others well by opening up our doors, hands and heart.
Romans 12:13
Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Matthew 20:26-28
Mark 10:35-45
Colossians 3:23-24
1 Peter 4:8-11
Hebrews 13:12
1Timothy 5:10
1 Peter 4:9
Romans 12:13
She is Beauty
.
The world likes to tell us what beauty is.
It especially likes to tell us what a beautiful woman is; what she wears, what she eats and drinks, how she walks and talks, what her skin, face and eyes look like, how she poses in a photo. The list is endless. The world often makes beauty exhausting. I beg to differ. These things are not beauty instead they are style or fashion. Style and fashion change with the times, culture and geography. Beauty in itself is unchanging.
There is a lake I have visited for years. Every season it is beautiful. Some seasons it is green and lush and full of movement while other seasons it is surrounded by empty branches and stillness. Every season is beautiful. When I am there I feel the peace it brings as it grounds my soul. Beauty carries energy and peace at the same time.
I am tired of the noise of the world forcing its’ opinion of what beauty is. I need to shift my mind once again and remind myself what beauty is. Merriam-Webster defines beauty, lovely and grace…
beauty/noun
1: the quality or group of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or the mind : LOVELINESS
lovely/adjective
1: delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace
…
Beauty is lovely wrapped packaged. Imagine in front of you a large box with wrapped in a thick shiny colorful paper, you know the good stuff- not the stuff that tears at a whisper, and a wide ribbon wrapped around the box, topped with a big loopy bow. For a second you think, it is almost too pretty to unwrap so you pause and admire the outside for a minute but the gift is inside waiting for you. The inside is the thing, the end goal –what you are anticipating. The same gift can come in a paper bag and it is still the same gift. Some days a paper bag will do and other days, you want the full wrapping. I think this is a more accurate picture of beauty. We can appreciate the outside efforts and sometimes it looks extra good, but it is not the gift. It is not beauty. What matters is the inside.
This weekend I had the privilege of attending Mom’s Weekend and my son’s university which was filled with many activities but I’ll stick to the relevant ones. The first evening was spent with our “framily” (friends who are family) so it was guaranteed a good evening. We enjoy each other’s company anyplace which is comfortable for this introvert. The second night kicked off with hanging out in his apartment with one of his roommates and mom. We had some instant commonalities and it was an easy connect. We had many laughs and story sharing. Ty kept referring to the night as a giant cross-over episode. His two worlds colliding. We then traveled to a small house party where I met 4 more moms. I was the second mom on the scene and was greeted with a smile and charcuterie board. WIN-WIN. The students were happy to hang, sing songs, dance around and of course, as it is a Big 10 school in spring, watch basketball on the big screen. The next mom came in looking burdened. She pulled up a chair and the group encouraged her to share. The group had empathy, an unhurried ear and kind words for her. THIS was beauty. She had the courage to share and group had mercy and love to give. Nothing was solved but encouragement was given and she was able to let go of some of the burden and enjoy the night with her daughter and new friends. Beauty is authentic connection and acceptance. If you unwrap beauty, you find love at the core.
LEAD WITH LOVE
We were each from different parts of the city and ‘burbs. We were all different colors and cultures. We cheered for different teams. I’m sure we had different views on many different things but it did not matter. Each mom and student that walked in that apartment and saw love and gave love. It was mom’s being mom’s –enjoying time with their grown babes and giving love and grace, encouragement to their students and all they encountered. This is beauty.
It is time to step up our motherhood and pour it out freely to those we encounter. Slow down in order to be open with a listening ear. Throw hugs out there like parade candy. Laugh, dance, play, celebrate together regardless of all the things that separate us. This world needs us all to find the common ground and just love. Create more beauty. Not the faux ever-changing beauty that swipes before our eyes every day but instead true beauty full of harmony, mercy, grace, peace, kindness: LOVE.
Let’s all be able to walk into a room and say about each other;
She IS Beauty.
Rebrand yourself?
Recently I read something somewhere (that’s as good as it gets these days “something somewhere” – welcome to my 50ish mind!) about “rebranding one’s style”. I enjoy marketing and style so the phrase caught my attention and has bouncing around my mind ever since so it’s time to unpack it.
My initial reaction to one “rebranding” oneself was a good solid eye roll with a coordinated grumble under my breath. I don’t like the show of life, instead real living and the term felt like packing. If something is not selling it gets rebranded. No thanks.
Yesterday, I dropped 2 of my 3 kids at college a few hours away. It was bittersweet and frustrating and good and sad all together. I’m exhausted. We were greeted at home with a 5 minute raucous from our chocolate Labrador and our daughter quickly changed and went to unwind solo. The house was quiet. I usually love a quiet house, but the thought of it always being quiet now is a new thing. I am not sure I like it. Oh I miss those boys already and the sadness becomes a reality. My mind winds up…..why do I have this house if the boys aren’t here? How do I shop? Do I have to cook? Can we live on cereal and chocolate now? Who is going to move furniture and carry heavy stuff for me? What is going to occupy the time and silence? How do I parent ALL adults? Who am I? What can I be now?
Dunkin’ Donuts rebranded to Dunkin’. Everyone knew what they stood for so the they no longer needed it in their name and at the same time allows them to expand their potential. They stayed true to who they were but upgraded their packaging to allow for upgrades and remain relevant. It is fresh and has been working well for them.
The Bible teaches about being transformed by the renewing of you mind. (Romans 12:2) The focus is more inward instead of appearance like in rebranding. Give a dog a treat and it will instantly change his mood and the appearance naturally changes. Transforming and renewing are the goals of rebranding.
It is a Becoming.
I had a spiritual director who often asked, “Are you the same person you were 30, 50, 90 days ago?” followed with “The answer should always be No.” She challenged us to always be growing. If we are renewing our mind daily then we are growing and should look more like Christ. Honestly, some days I see huge growth in my faith from where I’ve been and others I feel the same as I was 30, 60, 90 days ago. I am not proud of that but I can give myself grace to accept it and inch forward. I am BECOMING.
Yes, I think I’d rather BECOME than Rebrand. Become who? Become what? I’m not sure yet and I think that is okay too. At my core, I am me and will stay true to me. My systems, schedules, focus are shifting. No more bag lunch, sports practices and games. The house is oddly quiet and maybe it will stay cleaner? It is time to spend more energy on me, time to renew and transform.
I will have more pockets of time to write. Join me on the journey.
Maundy Thursday
Maundy Thursday
It is the Thursday before Good Friday and Jesus knows what lies ahead for him, ridicule, pain, suffering, darkness and death. Instead of fear and worry or spending the day in bed or stress eating or even denial, Jesus focuses on what is most important—his people. He gathers his 12 disciples and serves them. He teaches them how to remember him by the practice of communion but before the meal he has another big lesson.
As each arrive to the meal, Jesus greets them with a towel and basin to wash their feet. Can you imagine that? Think of THE most important person you know/imagine and you showing up for an honored meal and they sit you down to wash your dirty feet. (We are talking on a day you wore a certain shoe to hide the fact you didn’t have time for a pedicure or shower kind of day.) The Savior of the world, our Savior, knelt down and washed his friends’ feet. I’ve heard the story over and over then one time it struck me that Judas walked into that meal like everyone else. Jesus knew Judas’ plans to betray him, in fact later in the meal, Jesus dismisses him to do just that and STILL, Jesus washes his feet. Sit with that a bit. Would you have? I may have but maybe I would’ve made him wait, gave him the dirty water, the cheap soap. You? (Obviously, pray for me.)
The word Maundy is derived from the Latin word “command” referring to Jesus’ greatest command of love and to “Love one another as I have loved you”. (John 13:34) I am a visual learner so today as I read the story again, I picture myself walking into that meal and how I’d look and feel as Jesus washed my feet. I feel nervous, unworthy but as I sit, take a deep exhale and accept the gift, I feel loved. This is Jesus commandment—go love like this, everyone, including those you can’t stand, the ones that have betrayed you.
When you learn to love like this, there is a freedom that comes with it. It definitely takes practices and I definitely can not do it on my own (remember the cheap soap?). I need Jesus every day, every minute to teach and remind me to love like him.
It is a constant surrender that is so worth it. This surrender comes with peace, joy and more love to give.
Friends, It’s
Love-one-Another-Thursday.
My prayer is that we act like it today and we grow in God’s love. Amen
xo,A.
4/9/2020
today and 10 questions
Today is a choice. Yes, today seems to happen and we do not control it happening but we do control what we do with it. Do we engage with today or do we roll over and hide or find an escape to numb out today? Do we engage with meaningful work, whether that be out in the world or with in the home? Do we treasure the time and make it count?
My girlfriend sent me a video of a physicist explaining his science things of how we are assembled. I did not agree with his “how” but I agree with his thought that we are “temporary structures that can think, feel and explore….we have a little window we can observe this magnificent universe.” The older I get, the more I feel how short our time is here. I see and feel my limitations instead of the invincibility of my youth. Ten+ years ago, I did battle stage 4 breast cancer which was the accelerated class on learning to number and enjoy your days. By God’s grace and miracles, I am here today to contemplate the same lesson.
One would think I would be a pro at this by now and engaging in every moment, instead I am regrouping and prioritizing. As I enjoy the sunshine and white snow out my window and ponder; What needs to be cut? What needs to move up? What am I missing? What stresses am I holding on to instead of releasing to God? Where do I need to slow down? Where am I being lazy? Where do I need help? Where do I need to extend a hand? Where do I need to give more grace? Where do I need to love more?
We have a short time here friends. Don’t miss out. Get a pen and paper or just with your thoughts in a quiet space and let’s get better at being intentional.
LOVE : Advent week 4
Advent Week 4: LOVE
As a child, if you attended Sunday school, CCD, kids church, VBS etc, at some part of the lesson, the leader would ask questions and all the little hands would shoot into to the air hoping to be picked. Every church kid knew they could confidently shout-out JESUS and the probability of being correct was high. Even if it wasn’t the answer they were looking for, no one could say it was the wrong answer.
Instead they gently steered you to the point of the lesson, which did always lead back to Jesus. Yes, I’ll take the candy bar or book mark prize now.
Today life is complicated and confusing. It is even hard to stand up for what we know to be true. We are told truth is no longer truth. We are told people have their “own truth” and they should “speak their truth”.
By definition:
TRUE:
•in accordance with fact or reality.
“a true story”
•accurate or exact.
Our culture is shifting and facts and reality are debated every day. There is a war on truth.
Christ followers, your faith is under attack BUT we MUST do better.
When Jesus walked the earth, his way was under attack then as well. He did not follow all of the church laws. Jesus was under attack for “working” in a Sunday because he performed a miracle healing of a man. He didn’t hang with the church crowd, instead with the sick, poor, tax collectors, the sinners. He was not interested in being seen with important people instead, he was interested in helping the lost, the hurting, the broken, the broken-hearted. Jesus called out for us to bring him our burdens in exchange for rest. He taught we should love one another.
Jesus spoke truth but he lead with love.
How do we do better?
We lead with love.
As a girl I was taught, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I would tweak this for today, “if you can’t lead with love, keep your words until you can.” (This goes for words coming from a keyboard or screen as well.)
Lead with love. Love is a BIG thing. So big, in our dating years it is even called the “L-word”. (I remember my mom asking me if I was in love once and I quickly admitted that I was definitely in LIKE and not the L word.) Back to love. Love is BIG.
I think we need a reminder what love IS…
LOVE IS
patient and kind
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up,
never loses faith,
is always hopeful,
and endures through every circumstance.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
Love is no easy road. Love is
not oogly eyes and butterflies. Love is not just a feeling. Love is a choice. We choose love.
No matter where you are in your journey, you need more love. We never “arrive” when it comes to love. There is no graduation nor award. You keep going and strive to be better every day.
Think back to that classroom and this time I am going to give you the answer to todays’ problems. You are going to shout the answer. Okay? For reals, I do want you to at least say the answer out loud.
The answer is LOVE. Ready?
My neighbor is a jerk, what do I do?
LOVE
What if I don’t agree with my child/sister/friend/co-workers’ lifestyle choices?
LOVE
My coworker is rude? LOVE
My friend lost a loved one, what do I do? LOVE
I detest my friends political party? LOVE THEM ANYWAY
Great job! Y’all earned a bookmark today.
Why is this love thing so important?
Because it is EVERYTHING. If you don’t get this, nothing else matters. We must fight for love, every day.
People close to us and far from us matter. People who look like us and don’t look like us matter. People who believe what I believe and don’t believe what I believe matter.
All the colors, all the thicknesses, all the personalities, all the jobs, all the countries, every side of the tracks. We all matter. We all deserve love. Start with your family and then your neighbors and keep extending your own borders. (Borders are different than boundaries & that is a different convo. Don’t excuse toxicity with this message- talk to a trusted friend please)
LOVE -THIS IS the message of Jesus. LOVE. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.
Friend, YOU are loved by the God of this universe. He created you for a reason and his plan for you is good. Seek Him out. Learn to love. He loved you so much, God sent his son, Jesus to be born in an unwelcome time and place to walk this earth to teach love and ultimately pay price in his excruciating death for our brokenness.
The reason for the manager is the cross. Go love well, friends.
Merry Christmas
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.”
1 John 4:7-12 NLT
Ari H. 